Different :)

Well, this post is going to be a far cry from one of my posts from just the other day.

Turns out, that guy wasn't who I thought he was. And, surprisingly, I'm okay with that. This is the first time in a long time I've been able to get over someone so quickly. I mean, I guess it isn't THAT quickly considering the back-and-forth I put myself through thinking about it. But normally after admitting defeat I would sulk for a few days...months......well yeah I would basically be a mess for awhile.

Not this time.

This time, I'm putting it behind me. Why should who I like dictate how I live my life? The days when I'm happy or the days when I'm sad? Why should one person decide those emotions for me? They shouldn't.

Easier said than done, right? Right. I of all people would understand that. I think the last time I didn't have a crush on someone was in the "boys are icky" stage of my life. Since then there's always been someone.

However at the moment, I can honestly say that I'm not stressing about it. Why do I want that added stress on me? (Believe me, it's a lot of stress). It's actually a very freeing feeling not having someone to crush on. It isn't what you focus on during the day and you're able to get more things done, tolerate more people for longer periods of time. I enjoy it :)


I'm at a point in my life right now where being single is the best thing for me. And by single I don't just mean not in a relationship I mean fully single, not worrying about having a boyfriend or even hooking up. It doesn't exactly interest me right now.


But that's right now. You know me. This could change tomorrow ;)


XOXO
Jessie

Keep Calm And.....

So recently I've been kind of going off the deep end with people. I've just got a short fuse and I don't know why :/

Sometimes taking our own advice isn't as easy as giving it out. It's easy to see the rational reaction to something when you're on the outside looking in.

When it's you you're in control of?....not so much.

I think we all tell ourselves that we know better than other people or would react differently in a given situation. Truth is, we have no idea how we would react.

Think about it....how many times have you seen someone doing something and judged them for it? Now think about how many times that you, in one way or another, have done the same thing. I know you'll be honest with yourself even if you aren't honest out loud.

My pastor talked about judgement the other week at church. He quoted the bible in saying that before you point out the speck in someone else's eye, you should take the plank out of your own. (A rough quote by me). Please tell me I am not the only one who immediately thought of SOMEONE ELSE I could tell that to? Haha, kind of ironic isn't it?

I try to keep love your neighbor in my mind always. But, of course, no one is perfect. We will all judge each other harshly at some point although it's not our place. The important thing is that eventually we realize that we were wrong and we seek forgiveness.

Now I don't necessarily mean forgiveness from the person we have wronged. As I said, we are all human and cannot expect another human to be capable of complete forgiveness. Only God can do that. And in the end, he's the only one who we need to forgive us.

One thing I need to work on is my anger lately and extending my very, very short fuse. I need to keep calm and...insert whatever I can do at the time here. What's something you can work on with yourself? Ponder that with God this week.

Thanks for reading
XOXO
Jessie

I Must Be Bipolar...

You know it's gonna be the lamest post ever when it can only start with one sentence...

So there's this boy.

Yep, I'm going to annoy you all with this shit. Sorry I'm NOT sorry.

Ugh. Guys, I don't know what the hell is going on with me. It's like I'm stuck. Stuck going back and forth. I am so bipolar with this situation it just isn't funny. 

This boy - this STUPID BOY is the kind of boy who won't text you back forever. Like he will seriously wait 3 days to text you back. And then what? I don't even remember why I even wanted to talk to you in the first place!!! But of course you're gonna have ONE full convo with me that's really sweet :) & when we actually hang out? Sweetest guy ever. No joke. Outgoing and just...great. Texting? Not so good at it. So of course this dramatic change in demeanor forces my mind to go crazy on me. As if I wasn't already crazy enough.

Here's how it goes, guys:

Day One: We hang out for couple of hours.

Yayyyy so much fun he's so great :))))))))))))))) I think there might be something there?!!?!?!??!?!??!??

Week One: It's okay if he doesn't text me right away because we just saw each other and everythings great! Woohoo!

Week Two: Am I texting him too much? He works a lot so I guess he just doesn't have the time. But the least he could do is think of something better to say than "k" like for real? Are you kidding?

(One word texts annoy the shit out of me if you didn't already know. I once thew my phone across the room after getting one. Wouldn't ya know, it was from this guy too....)

Week Three: He's such an ass I can't believe I ever liked him like seriously he's probably got like 5 other girls he hangs out with not to mention he is SO NOT over his ex. I'm just not good enough that's what it is. He'll never like me and even if he does I'll never know he's too shy to tell me or act like it when all we do is text. -cue friends telling me I should just call him or try to hang out with him more and whatnot- okayokay I'll do it, they're right........Oh wait I'm too much of a pussy, that's right. FML. Can't deal with thissssssss I hateeeee myyyy lifeeeeeeeeeee

Week Four: 

"Wanna hang out tonight?"

"Be there at 12"

-hang out-

He's such a sweetheart :) seriously nicest guy I've ever known like I'm so ridiculous for thinking all that stuff about him LOLOLOLOL @ ME.

REPEAT. Literally.

Mmmmhmm betcha thought I was kidding about the bipolar thing, right? NOPE. Completely cereal. I'm not sure how I'm going to break this vicious cycle, but I guess I'm gonna have to figure it out. Because I'm making myself dizzy going back and forth.

Merr.

xoxo

Jessie

Being "That Age"

For all you kids who can't WAIT to turn 18....don't sweat it. Life is not so great when you're 18. What can you do? You can buy cigarettes and pretend you're parents can't control you (but good luck paying for college and a place to live without their help!) You can't buy alcohol, and you most definitely cannot find any damn clubs that you can get into without a fake!

What brought these thoughts up? Ohhh nothing just walking around the east side for an hour trying to find an 18+ club that my friend and I could get into. No such luck. Being 18 sucks. You THINK you have all this freedom but in reality, you have nothing more than cancer and a false sense of adulthood.

Yes I am quite bitter towards my age tonight. I have a blister between my toes from my shoes that kills, dirty feet, and all for nothing. God, how I hate it when people say this but.....SMH. I have never said FML so much in one night before!

Sorry for the rant, but I had to put this out there. This all being said, anyone know of some 18+ clubs that are good to go to? I am not trying to wait until I'm 21 to enjoy myself. Let me know! :)

XOXO
Jessie

Baby Part Two

"Baby" Part Two: Inattentive Driving


So you would think I would have learned after getting into three accidents with a cement pillar in a parking lot I would be a very cautious driver. Yes, that's right. Three accidents. Once with my mother's car, once with my dad's car, and once with my own car. Needless to say I don't park in that lot anymore, and I AM more cautious when I park. However, I have always been very nonchalant when it comes to driving.


A month or so after "Baby" part one happened, I was on my way to a Young Life small group at Andrea Morgan's house. (see Andrea's blog here: http://www.kandamorgs.blogspot.com/) it was a typical Sunday. I went to church with my family and was a helper in our twos and infants room for second hour. Gotta love the little ones (:

Later that day I did homework and contemplated whether I reallyyyy wanted to go back to school tomorrow or not, as I do every Sunday. And, as usual, I decided I did not want to.* At around 6:30 I left the house to go to Andrea's for our girls' cabin time. Andrea lives pretty close to my house, just a straight shot down North Ave mostly. She also lives pretty close to my old house where I lived from the time I was one year old until I was 16, so it wasn't like I was going to get lost on the way or anything.

I drove down North Avenue about a block and, as usual, was stopped at the first red light. And so to pass the time, I took my eyes off the road. You all know what I'm talking about, and don't you dare judge me because I know for a fact that most of you have done it at least once while driving.

They say that most accidents happen within a mile of your home.
They aren't kidding.....



So I'm keeping myself busy waiting for the light to change, and out of the corner of my eye I see a green light shine. Perfect! I think. So instead of looking up and then moving forward as I should have, I just went forward.
My car has a pretty good acceleration on it evidently.
Apparently that green light, was simply a left turn arrow and my light was still red. Crap.

So I accelerated straight into the bumper of the car in front of me.
My mind went blank. Was this really happening? I had never been in an accident with another car before.

So, having no clue what to do, I followed the lead of the short, heavier looking woman who I had just rear-ended. She got out of her car, I got out of my car (forgetting to put my hazards on of course). Since my mind was still blank, I couldn't think of anything to do besides start apologizing and crying...Pathetic. This woman probably thought I was 12 years old or something.
Thankfully, although she was mad she was nice enough to not start screaming at me or be mean at all really.

She called the police, I called my mommy.
Both came around the same time and the cop directed us to a parking lot near the scene. Of course, I received an inattentive driving ticket (although I did not say exactly why I was not paying attention. Texting & driving tickets are hundreds of dollars...oops I just admitted to lying. Stay in school kids!).


It's been a very long time since then and I have yet to have another accident. I don't text and drive anymore especially when I have someone in the car with me. It's one thing being told about the dangers of it, but it's another being involved in an accident because of it. You just feel like an idiot. The whole thing could have been avoided if you had just been paying attention.


Don't be idiots guys, don't be me. Don't let it take rear-ending someone or worse for you to realize that it's a dumb idea. Be smart. This is your life and the life of whoever you're driving. If you think you're grown up enough of know how to drive well, you should be grown up enough to know that text can wait.


Sorry for the public service announcement! Next time I'll make a commercial ;)
Love you guys!
XOXO
Jessie

Baby Part One

Hey guys

Don't worry, the title is just to scare you. "Baby" is my car's name.

So I know I haven't posted in a really long time, and I apologize.

There hasn't been a whole lot going on lately, so I figured I would just tell two stories that make my life seem incredibly interesting even though it is anything but.

Part One: Chi Town

So a few of my friends and I had this amazing idea to go down to Chicago one day after our classes were out. Actually, it was Nicole's idea to go to Chicago. I wanted to go to Gurnee Mills, but seeing as how I am one for adventure and never one to disappoint my friends I decided to go along with it. What harm could a little trip to Chi-Town do?

A lot.

It isn't that far from Gurnee, right?

Wrong.

About 3 hours later, we found ourselves in the midst of Chicago rush hour traffic. While I do enjoy the crazy convos my friends and I have when there's nothing else to do but make weird noises and tell each other secrets, the constant stop and go traffic got on my nerves quite a bit.

Eventually we arrived at our destination, The Rainforest Cafe. The mechanical animals and thunder storm simulation would be calming after a long car ride. But where to park in the hectic city of Chicago? My friends assured me that parking in one Walgreens parking lot would be fine for awhile reguardless of the signs informing wrong-doers the consequences of being there without the intentions of going to Walgreens.

So we went to the Rainforest Cafe and had an amazing lunch/dinner. The Rainforest Cafe is really a wonderful place. If you've never been there I highly reccommend going with your family or just a couple good friends (: the food is amazing and the atmosphere is enchanting.

But I'm getting off track...

We were all laughing and having fun on the way out of the restaurant, enjoying the city and each others company. We made the long trip across the street and past the same homeless man that made us all feel the same nervousness we had felt just an hour before on the way to the restaurant. My smile faded as we came closer to the parking lot of Walgreens. As we nearly reached the entrance I stopped in my tracks and stared. The only words that could leave my lips were the ones I never thought I would say, especially in an entirely different state than that of my home.

There was no ticket mockingly placed upon my windshield as there had been at school that one time I decided to park in a different spot

I have never been so disappointed to not see a parking ticket in my life.

There was a car in the parking lot. Shining and glistening in the sun. At first, there was a feeling of relief seeing a car in that space in the parking lot. A small shimmer of hope surged through me. The day had been nearly perfect. Great friends, great food, and a great city. There was just one thing wrong with this day...



This car was grey...



My car is black...



Four words escaped my lips:




"That's not my car..."



Silence.



Looks of worry and regret crossed all of our faces. Moments passed of us frantically wondering what to do and pacing the parking lot. I continued to look back at the space my car had once been in, hoping it would magically appear back in its place. No such luck. The sign just above the space that had forewarned me about the sure possibility that my car would be towed had I parked there displayed a phone number. I called the number and asked them where I would be able to pick up my car. The woman on the other end relayed me an address to go to and pick up my car. Right, like I knew where that was. My gps would be helpful, but that was in my car. So what was I to do?

The four of us (Nicole, Stephanie, Kyle, and I) walked over to a nearby restaurant and asked them if they knew where the place was. A hostess, after very helpfully informing us that they are serious about the signs, told us to ask the man in the parking lot who was in charge of calling the tow truck to come get the cars.

He seemed nice enough, besides the fact that he was the reason my car was gone and was able to give us a vague description of where the impound lot was.

"3 or so miles that way" he said, pointing in the direction we had just come from. I stared at him blankly. That sure is helpful. I thought.

My friends and I decided we would walk awhile and then try to catch a cab. Sure cabs are expensive, but it shouldn't be too far, right?


Wrong. Again.


We hailed a cab and I slid in the front passenger seat beside the foreign driver. I felt like I was in some sort of reality show or movie about the city. Except that I wasn't taking a cab out of efficiency or greenness, I was taking it because my car had been - for lack of a better word - car-napped. We told the driver the address of the impound lot, but it took him awhile to figure out exactly where we were talking about. Once he figured it out, the cab driver casually made a U-turn in the opposite direction we had been walking. We were all pretty confused, but we figured he knew where he was going.

He did know where he was going, and about 30 minutes later we were at the impound lot in a not-so-nice neighborhood. We all stared at each other...

Alright. I thought. Let's just get the hell out of here.

So we paid the driver and off he went. A couple 100 bucks later we had my car out of the lot and were on the way home. Finally.

Explaining this whole situation was the easy part. Paying to get that thing out of the lot was the difficult part. A million thoughts ran through my mind as we drove home.

What if the lot had been closed for the night when we go there?

What if they didn't take debit?

What if the cab driver had dropped us off at the wrong place? After all, he barely understood us.

What would happen if we were approached by some sketchy person?


I guess you could say, no matter what we're doing, when it comes to my friends and I it's always an adventure. And we always have times to remember.

I'll look back on this when I'm 40....and probably have a heart attack when my kids learn to drive. But it's always gonna be there in my mind, and I'm always going to remember my wonderful friends(:

Appreciate what you have, through the good times and the bad. <3
XOXO
Jessie

The First Week

Sunday:
Today was move in day and my first day sleeping in my dorm with my roomie, Paige. Saying goodbye to my family was probably the hardest part about today. Especially considering as soon as my mom left, so did my suitemates haha. So I hung out in my room for an hour before I realized how lame I was being. I called up my friend who lives in Cambridge & I went over there to watch the VMAs with him. At least I had somewhere to be and someone to talk to haha. After the VMAs I headed back to Sandburg on one of the shuttles that goes to all the dorms. I literally feel like I'm the only sober person on this campus tonight....that shuttle was insane, full of people yelling and falling on the floor drunk. Thankfully I found it more hilarious than scary when it probably should have been the other way. So I get back to the room and Paige is back from hanging out with her friends - thank God I'm not alone again. So we hang out for a minute and decide we're being lame again so we decided to go explore Sandburg. We got as far as the main lobby and realized that everyone was either coming back, leaving, or coming to a party from their dorm, so we just sat on the couch and talked. That lasted a few hours and then we rode the elevator a little (; We just hit the button for every floor and stayed in the elevator trying to meet people on every floor. Apparantly, nobody was using the elevator and everyone was in their rooms. Who stays in their room at midnight? Crackheads. So we came back to our room and decided to watch a movie. Unfortunately for me that movie turned out to be Paranormal Activity...I just about peed myself. Just kidding. In all honesty, the majority of that movie is pretty boring. It's just them doing random stuff all day. I started forgetting that it was a scary movie until they showed the nighttime scenes when the scary stuff happened. So I decided it wasn't that scary and watched the whole thing even after Paige fell asleep (she had seen the movie before). Apparantly it gets scarier as it goes on. And then the ending....well, you just watch it yourself. Honestly, I do reccommend the movie if you like to be scared a little. As for me, I don't like to be s cared and I didn't sleep much after watching it. But it's college....who sleeps?!

Monday:
Today not much went on. I didn't get much sleep last night so I've had a headache all day. I went to lunch in the union with Paige and her friend Ally and had a veggie pizza from Palermos that left me feeling bloated and gross. I've realized that eating in the union is what makes people gain that freshman 15, so I'll be eating out of my room for awhile. Not much else has happened today though.

Tuesday:
I just got the most amount of sleep I think I'll ever get in college. I went to bed early last night and didn't get up until like noon. We stayed in the room most of the day until around 5:00 when I got on the bus to go down to Marquette University to visit my wonderful cousin(: We basically just hung out all night with her and her roommate Cassandra. They are pretty freakin' sweet. I definitely have to visit them most often! We went to bed way too early this night though so that has to change! Well goodnight for now!

Wednesdsay:
So I attempted to take the bus back to UWM from MU this morning. However, my lovely cousin Alicia decided to put me on the wrong bus and I was taken around Wisconsin a couple of times. Just kidding it wasn't entirely around Wisconsin buuut Fon Du Lac, the ghetto of Milwaukee and then back through the MU campus again, through downtown Milwaukee and then finally to my building, Sandburg, which was the last stop that bus was making this morning apparantly. So I'm officially traumatized by the bus and will never take it again. Just kidding I lied. Because I'll probably want to visit Alley again even though she traumatized me. Whaaatever. After that I came back to the room and chilled with everyone. We literally didn't leave the room until our house meeting and to eat. We watched Eclipse in Paige's friend's room and now we're back here watching Dexter yet again. Not to mention the two boys who just knocked on our door at 1am to "make sure everyone was okay" Paige asked if they were drunk an they said they couldn't tell us that hahahaha the song I Love College wont stop playing over and over again in my minddd. Tomorrow is going to be a long day of meeting with my mentor and picking up all of my books! So I'd better get some extra sleep! Hahahahahaha....

Thursday:
Panther Welcome Day and my meeting with my mentor went pretty well today. It wasn't a one-on-one meeting like I thought it would be, it was a group of people (all architecture majors - I'm an education major) and my mentor, Joe. We took a small tour around to the different buildings and he answered any questions we had about the campus and stuff going on. It was actually pretty fun. At lunch we got free hotdogs and burgers and I was pleased to find that the raggae band that I went to see at Summerfest was playing right outside of the library. So that was pretty swagggg. The rest of the night/day was spent in my room with Paige and her friend watching Dexter and Jersey Shore. Oh P.S. WE FINALLY HAVE CABLE. I AM SO HAPPY!!!!!

Friday:
Basically I woke up, and went home.

Saturday/Sunday:
Most boring days ever because everyone in Wauwatosa hates me and doesn't want to hang out ): YEAH WELL I HATE YOU TOO TOSA!!!! D: WAAAAHHHHH.