Different :)

Well, this post is going to be a far cry from one of my posts from just the other day.

Turns out, that guy wasn't who I thought he was. And, surprisingly, I'm okay with that. This is the first time in a long time I've been able to get over someone so quickly. I mean, I guess it isn't THAT quickly considering the back-and-forth I put myself through thinking about it. But normally after admitting defeat I would sulk for a few days...months......well yeah I would basically be a mess for awhile.

Not this time.

This time, I'm putting it behind me. Why should who I like dictate how I live my life? The days when I'm happy or the days when I'm sad? Why should one person decide those emotions for me? They shouldn't.

Easier said than done, right? Right. I of all people would understand that. I think the last time I didn't have a crush on someone was in the "boys are icky" stage of my life. Since then there's always been someone.

However at the moment, I can honestly say that I'm not stressing about it. Why do I want that added stress on me? (Believe me, it's a lot of stress). It's actually a very freeing feeling not having someone to crush on. It isn't what you focus on during the day and you're able to get more things done, tolerate more people for longer periods of time. I enjoy it :)


I'm at a point in my life right now where being single is the best thing for me. And by single I don't just mean not in a relationship I mean fully single, not worrying about having a boyfriend or even hooking up. It doesn't exactly interest me right now.


But that's right now. You know me. This could change tomorrow ;)


XOXO
Jessie

Keep Calm And.....

So recently I've been kind of going off the deep end with people. I've just got a short fuse and I don't know why :/

Sometimes taking our own advice isn't as easy as giving it out. It's easy to see the rational reaction to something when you're on the outside looking in.

When it's you you're in control of?....not so much.

I think we all tell ourselves that we know better than other people or would react differently in a given situation. Truth is, we have no idea how we would react.

Think about it....how many times have you seen someone doing something and judged them for it? Now think about how many times that you, in one way or another, have done the same thing. I know you'll be honest with yourself even if you aren't honest out loud.

My pastor talked about judgement the other week at church. He quoted the bible in saying that before you point out the speck in someone else's eye, you should take the plank out of your own. (A rough quote by me). Please tell me I am not the only one who immediately thought of SOMEONE ELSE I could tell that to? Haha, kind of ironic isn't it?

I try to keep love your neighbor in my mind always. But, of course, no one is perfect. We will all judge each other harshly at some point although it's not our place. The important thing is that eventually we realize that we were wrong and we seek forgiveness.

Now I don't necessarily mean forgiveness from the person we have wronged. As I said, we are all human and cannot expect another human to be capable of complete forgiveness. Only God can do that. And in the end, he's the only one who we need to forgive us.

One thing I need to work on is my anger lately and extending my very, very short fuse. I need to keep calm and...insert whatever I can do at the time here. What's something you can work on with yourself? Ponder that with God this week.

Thanks for reading
XOXO
Jessie

I Must Be Bipolar...

You know it's gonna be the lamest post ever when it can only start with one sentence...

So there's this boy.

Yep, I'm going to annoy you all with this shit. Sorry I'm NOT sorry.

Ugh. Guys, I don't know what the hell is going on with me. It's like I'm stuck. Stuck going back and forth. I am so bipolar with this situation it just isn't funny. 

This boy - this STUPID BOY is the kind of boy who won't text you back forever. Like he will seriously wait 3 days to text you back. And then what? I don't even remember why I even wanted to talk to you in the first place!!! But of course you're gonna have ONE full convo with me that's really sweet :) & when we actually hang out? Sweetest guy ever. No joke. Outgoing and just...great. Texting? Not so good at it. So of course this dramatic change in demeanor forces my mind to go crazy on me. As if I wasn't already crazy enough.

Here's how it goes, guys:

Day One: We hang out for couple of hours.

Yayyyy so much fun he's so great :))))))))))))))) I think there might be something there?!!?!?!??!?!??!??

Week One: It's okay if he doesn't text me right away because we just saw each other and everythings great! Woohoo!

Week Two: Am I texting him too much? He works a lot so I guess he just doesn't have the time. But the least he could do is think of something better to say than "k" like for real? Are you kidding?

(One word texts annoy the shit out of me if you didn't already know. I once thew my phone across the room after getting one. Wouldn't ya know, it was from this guy too....)

Week Three: He's such an ass I can't believe I ever liked him like seriously he's probably got like 5 other girls he hangs out with not to mention he is SO NOT over his ex. I'm just not good enough that's what it is. He'll never like me and even if he does I'll never know he's too shy to tell me or act like it when all we do is text. -cue friends telling me I should just call him or try to hang out with him more and whatnot- okayokay I'll do it, they're right........Oh wait I'm too much of a pussy, that's right. FML. Can't deal with thissssssss I hateeeee myyyy lifeeeeeeeeeee

Week Four: 

"Wanna hang out tonight?"

"Be there at 12"

-hang out-

He's such a sweetheart :) seriously nicest guy I've ever known like I'm so ridiculous for thinking all that stuff about him LOLOLOLOL @ ME.

REPEAT. Literally.

Mmmmhmm betcha thought I was kidding about the bipolar thing, right? NOPE. Completely cereal. I'm not sure how I'm going to break this vicious cycle, but I guess I'm gonna have to figure it out. Because I'm making myself dizzy going back and forth.

Merr.

xoxo

Jessie